The God Wrestler’s Commitment -  A Shavuot Reflection

 

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On the eve of Tuesday night May 18th, 2010 till May 20th

Jews will be celebrating the holiday of Shavout.

 

What is Shavout?

 

Shavout commemorates the revelation on Mount Sinai. In

the book noticing the Divine, John R. Mabry writes:

 

On Shavout “…the God of Israel called Moses to the top of

Mount Sinai and there gave him the tablets of the law –

establishing a covenant that would endure for all time.

 

In this radical covenant, the God of Israel offered humans

something they had never knows before. Adonai was proposing

 something like a marriage between Godself and the people of

 Israel… This “marriage” is a motif that is repeated time and

 time again in Jewish scriptures. The Song of Solomon is a

love song that is not only highly charged erotically, but is also

very moving in its portrayal of the deep affection between the

 lovers. These lovers have long been understood to be Adonai

and Israel, a bold and noble tradition.

 

It is novel because up to that point, Gods were almost always

depicted as kings, and the people as slaves. It may be that the

God of Israel was sensitive to this reality and knew that Israel

had had enough of slavery. Instead of treating them as chattel, 

Adonai offered them something that no people had ever been

offered before : a relationship of mutual commitment and

responsibility – a marriage...”

 

Shavout then is the renewing of our vows to God, we are

committing ourselves again to the journey of being Bnai Yisreal. 

 

Bnai Yisrael simply translated means the children of Israel. What

does being a child of Israel mean?  Why do we prefer to be called

Israel when it is just another name for Jacob?  When was Jacob’s

name changed to Israel?

 

Jacob’s name was changed after he wrestles with the angel

and was struck by him.

Genesis 32:28-29

The angel says to Jacob: “Let me go for the dawn is breaking.”

Jacob’s response “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

“What is your name?”

“Jacob”

“No longer will your name be spoken as Jacob, but as

Israel, for you have wrestled with God and with men and

you have won.”

 

So the children of the God Wrestlers – the ones who wrestle with

The Divine recommit again on Shavout to wrestle some more.

  

Many of us wanting and/or craving a spiritual experience will go

from religion to religion or from one house of worship to another

and sample their wares... a little here and a little there. Enjoying

what others have to offer... but never fully committing. We think

 that it is easier that way.  We get to have what we enjoy and not

rub against the harder things that come up when we are with

something day in and day out. 

 

This is true in joining a spiritual community, creating a business

partnership and committing in relationship or marriage. As long

as we can go from one to another and belong in many and yet not

commit to any, our buttons don't get pushed, our inner triggers

don't get triggered... and we feel safe.

 

But when pledging to a spiritual community, entering into a

marriage or following one path, we tend to rub against the harder

parts of that community, project, person, or path. We get into the

rough edges and the hardships and the only way to get to the other

side of it is to move through them. When we fully commit - we rub

against, people that are hard to get along, our insecurities and

patterns that we would rather not see, and teachings that are hard

for us to understand. We must grapple with ourselves and with

GOD (Spirit) in order to come out the other side. 

 

If our practice is to meditate, then we must sit in the silence, despite

the fact that sometimes we will not have a high, and all we will

notice is our wandering mind... the day to day grind of a spiritual

practice forces us to rub against the uncomfortable spaces within

that particular practice. We must enter those spaces where we don't

know. We are asked to confront our deepest fears and sit with them

for a while, hang out with them and become comfortable in the

empty spaces… in the not knowing...

 

Steven Cope, Author and Senior Scholar at the Kripalu Center

for Yoga, said that we must first commit to a path fully - and rub

against what is uncomfortable for us and then when we have a path

that is fully our own, then we can go and learn and taste from what

others have to offer.

 

This does not mean that we need to connect to the religion that we

were born into, nor that we must take directions from others who

think they know what is right for us.  Rather we need a find a path

that is our own, whether it is a combination of different beliefs or a

mixture or things that we have learned... whatever that path or

community is, we need to fully enter it in order to have the

experience  of it.  It is like marriage - it is only when we commit

completely that our triggers are pushed, when we come face to

face with our insecurities and allow ourselves to be vulnerable

THAT is when true growth occurs.

 

The blessing that we make before studying (learning) Torah is

 "Blessed are you God who sanctifies us with your commandments

and has commanded us (La’asok b'divrai Torah) to toil in Torah.  

It is through our toiling –our struggle – our sweat and tears – our

rubbing against - that we can fully integrate Torah into our life.

 

Jewish Legend tells us that when God came to the Israelites asking

them if they wanted to receive the Torah. They responded by saying

Naase v’Nishma, “We will do and we will listen”. For centuries

Rabbis have commented that we as a people vowed to do before

we even knew the laws. We committed completely because we

trusted God.

 

A colleague and friend of mine, who will be ordained in June, gave

herself a gift for her forty- second birthday this past March. The gift

is a tattoo on the inside of her wrist and simply states “Yes, My Love”. 

I remember seeing it for the first time… it took my breath away…

All I could think  was.. WoW!. I marveled at the strength and

commitment it takes to say YES! , to keep saying YES!, whether

we know what is required of us or not.

 

Later when I spoke to her about it she said to me, "This is my

permanent Tefillin*… as in scriptures is says: al yadechah (you

shall  place it on your hand)".   Many will look at her hand and

think  - Jews are not permitted to have tattoos how can she get

a tattoo and then claim that it is her Tefillin???  But this is her path

and she is willing to create a permanent commitment to her

lover - God.  Yes, My Love – even when my buttons are pushed…

Yes, My Love – even when I am triggered… Yes, My Love – I trust

that you will guide me to where it is that I need to go to next.

 

I bless us all that as we enter this holiday of Shavout, that we renew

our vows with the understanding that to fully accept Torah is to toil

in it. That to fully be in relationship is to rub against those places

that we are uncomfortable with; and that we give ourselves

permission to sit in these moments and continue to commit to the

journey of the God Wrestler.

 

Chag Somayach  - A Happy Shavout

Chani

 

* Tefillin also called phylacteries are a set of small cubic leather boxes painted

 black, containing scrolls of parchment inscribed with verses from the Torah with

leather straps dyed black on one side, and worn by Jews during weekday morning

 prayers. Although "tefillin" is technically the plural form (the singular being

 "tefillah"), it is loosely used as a singular as well. The hand-tefillin, or shel yad,

is placed on the upper arm, and the strap wrapped around the arm, hand and

 fingers; while the head-tefillin, or shel rosh, is placed above the forehead, with

the strap going around the head and over the shoulders.

 

The source texts for tefillin comes from the following verse from the Shema states:

 "And you shall bind them as a sign upon your arm, and they shall be as totafot

between your eyes."